I went on a short holiday to Caloundra this weekend. I’d tell you more but I’m freaking hungry.

I’m staying the the Brisbane Airport Novotel because I’m flying out at 5:30am tomorrow morning. I treated myself to room service as a, well, treat. It was roast lamb and vegies with added posh. It was for the low-low price of $32. But it came to my door with a silver lid on top. So that was exciting.

It tasted great. For about 3 mouthfuls, then it was finished, and now I’m freakin’ hungry. I’m even more hungry than before. I’m thinking maybe they didn’t even feed me a meal, just a phantasm of a meal, to make me order another meal. Then I’ll eat that too, and be hungry, and order another, and another. Before the night is up I will have sold everything I have, and mortgaged my parents’ house, to eat thousands of their room service, un-meals. The more you eat, the hungrier you get. This place is cursed.

Anyway, right now I’m trying to work out if I should spend another exorbitant amount on a meal that will probably not satisfy me. It’ll surely come under a silver lid, but that might be all the joy it holds. I think perhaps I know how Jesus felt in the wilderness after 40 days of fasting.

I’ll tell you how my holiday was later perhaps. Right now I’m trawling E-bay looking for a Brisbane local who is willing to come buy a kidney off me in the next twenty minutes.